poemless. a slap in the face of public taste.

September 29, 2010

I was lost – then I was found. Vol. 2. Welcome to Tashkent

Filed under: Meta — poemless @ 4:47 PM

Vol. 1.

I have a blog for the same reason I have a Twitter account. To spy on YOU.

Phrases people enter into search engines to arrive at this site:

a person who’s lost their taste
agitprop нет! to alcohol
al capones jewish friends
anne applebaum + space exploration
art mightier than reality
capitalist crying
cat in a body cast
celebration cash for first menstruation
communist cat
cute russian boys
depressing culture
fully naked beach babes
hysterical realism
i had a lunch with kasparov
is dmitri orlov right?
медведев дмитрий анатольевич еврей
mower made into go kart
please stand up my russian people
putin naked
putin shirt off on horse
putin vladimir is six fingered
putin vs cthulhu
putin’s financial advisor
revolutionary war teletubbie
russisan pathology
russian propaganda
scott spires
serbian canned luncheon meat
trashy girls
vladislav surkov scientology
welcome to tashkent

I am pleased to welcome back the FSB and naked Putin, who also made appearances in Vol. 1. A round of applause. This “scott spires” fellow, however, seems to spend a lot of time googling himself. Is he paranoid or some kind of egomaniac, or perhaps just bored?

I should take this opportunity to clarify that I have never had lunch with Gary K. or received a cash reward for my period. Sadly.

If I were to draw any conclusions about your deeply disturbing web-surfing behavior, I guess it would be that I am attracting people interested in Russian politics and hot Russians. That is, I have successfully nabbed my target audience. I am a communist who is also a marketing genius. The Kremlin’s chief propagandist can hire me now.

Also, people like to look at cats.

Also, you Russians need to get over your creepy Jewish thing. Seriously people. Grow up.

Also … Well, it’s rather upsetting …

… By now I am used to the p0rnography and all. I’m not opposed to sexy photos or whatever on principle. It’s the trafficking and women in crap situations with few good alternatives that really pisses me off. If it is some kind of fair trade, in accordance with standard Western labor laws, between consenting adults p0rn, get your groove on – I don’t care. Anyway, so I keep finding these searches for sexy Russian boys in my stats, and I am like, oh you know me – I do like sexy Russian boys. Boys as in, not girls (and preferably over the age of 30.) Then I see searches for trafficking Russian boys, and realize that maybe they mean boys as in, not over 18. I’m freaking out and thinking I should like, call INTERPOL or something. Right? And then I realize that a google search is not an endorsement. I wouldn’t want to be judged for my online searches. Still, I’m really upset. I don’t want horrible evil sick psycho criminals visiting my blog.


The only sexy things to see here are a certain shirtless premier and my intellect on display. And how that can possibly not be enough for anyone, I will never understand.


  1. “This “scott spires” fellow, however, seems to spend a lot of time googling himself. Is he paranoid or some kind of egomaniac, or perhaps just bored?”

    That I don’t get. I may be a bored egomaniac, but it’s been a long time since I arrived at this site by self-googling. (I think it was when my last article came out, which was months ago.)

    Comment by Scowspi — September 30, 2010 @ 12:04 PM | Reply

    • I was hoping that by continually placing your name in these posts (but really, there were new searches for you – I did not invent this), these posts would continually come up when you would google yourself, thereby discouraging you of the habit.

      But, if … other people are googling you…

      Well, I don’t know what the explanation for that would be.


      Comment by poemless — September 30, 2010 @ 12:16 PM | Reply

  2. Self-googling reveals some interesting things: that I play the saxophone; that I’m trying to lose weight in advance of my upcoming wedding; that I live on a houseboat; that I’ve been accused of stabbing someone to death. The fact that none of these things are true is easily explained – I share a name with these people but nothing else.

    Comment by Scowspi — September 30, 2010 @ 1:14 PM | Reply

    • Thanks for not stabbing me to death.

      Comment by poemless — October 1, 2010 @ 5:36 PM | Reply

  3. I believe, every person has experienced ethnically challenging situation, witnessing an outrightly criminal or next-to-crime situation and wondering whether to report that or not.

    What can I say? I am NOT interested in Russian boys. In any meaning.

    Comment by Evgeny — October 1, 2010 @ 3:51 AM | Reply

    • By the way, I recall a blog article about horizontal and vertical social connections, that makes a fun read.


      Comment by Evgeny — October 1, 2010 @ 4:11 AM | Reply

      • I will check it out.

        Comment by poemless — October 1, 2010 @ 5:37 PM | Reply

    • *Ethically challenging, of course.

      Comment by Evgeny — October 1, 2010 @ 10:15 AM | Reply

    • LOL, thanks for the clarification, Evgeny. I didn’t suspect you were…

      Comment by poemless — October 1, 2010 @ 5:36 PM | Reply

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