I’m so sick I’ve nothing to say. Except that Qaddafi is my new favorite celebrity. That he travels with his own tent (but no KOA directory, I guess) and wants to dissolve Switzerland is astonishing enough. But that 90 min. … erm, “speech” – wow! Just wow! If that doesn’t make you want to run out and take Public Speaking 101 or join Toastmasters, whatever will? After seeing the cloaked one and Chavez at the UN, it strikes me that what our enemies in the developing world lack is: speechwriters. It’s too bad, really, because if you can actually make yourself listen to them, they have some very seriously valid things to say. It’s just the delivery that distracts and allows the Western Hegemony to discount their words as those of lunatics. Still, I admire the way they say whatever they like and don’t care what others think of them. Reminds me of me in high school. Know what else reminds me of high school? The way the popular kids get up and leave when one of the so-called lunatics gets up to speak, treating the UN like it were a middle school cafeteria and Ahmadinejad had the balls to sit at the jocks’ table. Grow up people. And what else? Oh I could have happily gone my whole entire life without seeing Tom Delay shake his ass in some nasty old brown polyester pants (in case you didn’t get the aesthetic he’s going for: exploded colostomy bag.) Possibly the creepiest thing ever shown on network TV. They should have a warning before his performances, like the BBC does with flash photography. Anyway, I am going to have to boycott reality tv dancing shows until he’s voted off. Which is a lot harder than it sounds when you have the god damned flu. (Not swine flu though! Whew.) Another thing I should have been able to live my life without fear of: Boris Yeltsin running around slobbering drunk in his underwear. And what is this pattern of nekkid Russian leaders? I hope Dima keeps his clothes on. He has good clothes. OMG, did you see his fab aubergine tie? He’s fall fashion forward! My nail polish matches his tie! Now there is a man who knows how to respect the UN! Speaking of awesome (clothed) Russians at the UN, is Anastasia Churkina Vitaly Churkin’s daughter or something? And, lastly in the progression of thoughts travelling through my bored to tears mind, does the FSB really have nothing better to do than make sex tapes? And bad sex tapes at that? There are lots of pornographers in Russia. I would assume. Given her inglorious history of fine filmmaking and fallen women. If the intelligence organs have lost interest in things like national security and old-school KGB spookiness and really want to get into the low budget not even really porn scene, they could do a lot better. What else?
I was supposed to go camping this weekend. But I have the flu. And it is raining.